Don’t stop with Panera. Keep the good times rolling!

Now, since you’re smart and know when to take good advice, I’m sure both you and your lovely lady friend had a fantastic time at Panera Bread. If not, maybe the food and atmosphere doesn’t quite fit your style. Regardless of a good experience, try asking her out again.

The Chicagoland Legend, Portillos, is a definite next step in the wonderful world of dining and dating. If you’re looking for a calm quiet night to have some nice alone time with your girl, stick to Panera; if you’re looking for a little more excitement, a place you can go on a fun double date where hamburgers and hotdogs are plentiful, Portillos is the answer. Remember, it’s all about pleasing her 5 senses. 

Sight
As a teenager, pulling up to Portillos on a Friday night after a long week at school and seeing that trademark cursive logo is like the Cubs won the world series. From the walk from the car to the door, you and your date already have an idea of what lies behind those doors. The rustic fired bricks give a feel of the Chicago Fire era, a culture distinction that has been lost in modern Chicago suburbia.

Inside, the place is strikingly like none other. A replica of Chicago’s L Track above the booths, dozens of gimmicky old-fashioned posters cluttering the walls, and a life sized scene of Al Capone bathing in a 1920’s bathtub, complete with cigar in hand and Tommy Gun propped on a nearby wall. A definite unique and exciting spectacle for you and your young date.

The kitchen is huge, taking up 2 of the 4 walls of the big open dining space. Glass windows by the line to the cashier will cause salivation as you watch the award-winning beef sandwiches, hot dogs, hamburgers, fries, onion rings, and salads being skillfully prepared before you--so for the love of god, don’t drool on her shoulder!

Sound
Portillos is no quaint and quiet cafe. The music is loud and uplifting, the conversations are large, and employees aren’t afraid to yell to indicate a completed order.

The music is something that would put a smile on grandpa’s face--reminding him of simpler times where a catchy jingle was all it took to brighten the day. Iconic musicians like Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, and Tommy Dorsey wail with there big brass, big vocal, and catchy melodies are unmistakable throughout the restaurant.

Since Portillos is located in the Chicagoland and provides Chicago-style hot dogs, it’s bound to attract loud, hungry, abrasive people. Unless you and your date are looking to start a spectacular conversation with some Bears fans, stick to the booths under the L.

Smell
Oh that sweet aroma! Remember to remark about perfume she’s wearing, though she’ll probably be more pleased with the scent of fast food fryer oil in the air. The combination of all the scents in the air is one more thing to put on the list of mouth watering inducers at Portillos.

But there’s something misplaced about a certain aroma in the air; it is not like the others. And that’s when it hits you. They have chocolate cake; a must have after your main course for any couple with a craving for sweets.   

Touch
The dining space is crowded and unorganized, but since they have seemingly 100 tables crammed into a tiny room this is understandable. To avoid claustrophobia and rubbing elbows with Greasy Greg, sit at one of the booths beneath the L Track; there is an amazing increase in privacy; the light is dimmed for romantic effect.

Everything seems fairly clean. The tables aren’t sticky, all food packaging and eating utensils are disposable, and there are sneeze guards all around the kitchen area. Fairly clean, that is until you spot two shady employees in the corner of the dining room, wiping down trays over the garbage with assumingly dirty towels. Strike one.

When it comes time to reach for your wallet, it’s nice to know that you weren’t completely murdered with prices. Similar to Panera Bread, you and your date can eat satisfactorily for about $8 apiece. 


About $8 apiece for you and your date.

Taste
Food Reviews from Portillos patrons:

-Bacon Double Cheeseburger- “Everything was good, but the bacon was thick and dry like jerky.”

-Italian Beef Sandwich- “With too light ojui, the sandwich is too dry. With too much ojui, the sandwich gets too soggy. You have to get the perfect amount for it to taste right.”

-Yellowfin Tuna Sandwich- “The Tuna was excellent. I wasn’t expecting a fast food joint to have good fish. The bun was disappointingly smashed and soggy, so the tuna slid around easily.”

-Asian Chicken Wanton Salad- “It tasted good, but it was hard to eat because of too many different clashing textures.”

 Double Bacon Cheeseburger                         Italian Beef Sandwich

 Yellowfin Tuna Sandwich                             Asian Wanton Chicken Salad

First Date: Panera

So you finally managed to ask her out.  And you have a plan.  Panera Bread huh?  Pat on the back, girls love Panera.  Remember that aura that makes her 5 senses go wild?  Well, Panera is a master of this. 

First thing's first when you walk into Panera Bread, hand in hand with your lovely date.  Everything pops in the dim light.  Wood counters, slate floors, art on the walls, dozens of stainless steal baskets displaying dozens of varieties of bread, an inviting staff of at least 10 behind moving in and out of the bakery.  It all seems overwhelming as your eyes dark around setting on one dazzling object at a time.  Mostly small young adult groups and couples are scattered around, seated at cafe-style tables and long booths.  The layout reminds you of a Starbucks cafe.  The menu consisting of soup in a bread bowl, salad, club sandwiches, hot sandwiches, specialty beverages, and pastries.  It's all so intriguing.

Several steps into the lunch bar you have a feel for noise level.  Calm conversation at every table.  Music is teenage oriented, but still a notch lower than the conversation level.  Perfect for a date.  The bakery and employees remain even a level lower as not to disturb the peace of the customers.

What's that smell?  The next thing you notice is the overwhelming smell of freshly baked bread as you stare it down with predatious lust.  You and your date exchange pleased looks and die a little in excitement.  Walking by each table you both get a small whiff of a patron's meal, anticipating what to order from the gigantic menu.

After ordering you reach for your wallet and glance at the cash register, $20.00.  Not quite the McDonald's Dollar menu, but with stunning atmosphere, freshness, and variety, how can you argue?  She orders a ceasar salad, you order a bread bowl, and you both split a lemonade and cinnamon roll.  Sitting down, the table is clean.  Making a quick trip to the bathroom, you a presently surprised by the cleanliness and elegance.  No sticky, greasy, or god-knows-what surfaces.

Finally feasting time.  Her salad is fresh and full of flavor, your bread bowl is crisp and warm, the lenonade is tart, and your joke about the cinnamon roll is almost as cheesy as the broccoli soup in your bread bowl. 

The first date is a success.  You make a note that restaurants like Panera Bread do a fantastic job with pleasing her 5 Senses.

 

 

Panera Bread Homepage

Taking her out: What to do, where to go?

So, you finally asked her out on a date.  To your surprise, she enthusiastically accepts, grabbing your phone and entering her number into your contacts.  Stunned with joy and awe you smoothly fail to make plans for which you were talking to her in the first place.  Wide eyed and petrified, she walks away with smile.  As you snap back to reality, you alarmingly think, "I've never been on a date before."  You panic.  You never call her.   You recess back into your lonely man cave where you will stay hidden for life.  But whatever happened to this girl of your dreams that was so eager to let you take her out?  You missed your chance. 

Rewind back to your first encounter with her.  What did you do wrong?  Well for starters, shove your tongue back into your mouth.  Not even a 5 gallon hat could stop you from making a mess.  More importantly, plan ahead of time.  Think, if there was anything that you would do alone in a normal day, what would it be?  Eat stupid.  Besides the fact that Humans are simply another species of Earthly animal and need to eat to survive, taking her to a popular local restaurant never fails.  And I'm not talking McDonald's Dollar Menu; I'm talking something that will wow her.  To win the girl you must bombard her 5 senses--Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, Taste--with pleasure.  Take her to lunch at a popular specialty restaurant; a bistro, a cafe, a gimmicky burger joint, etc.  Lunch bars are packed with junk to make her senses go wild.  Once the aura of the occasion captivates her 5 senses, it's steady sailing from then on.  The girl is yours.


See for yourself